Celebrating Single
Photo by Amy Shamblen on Unsplash
Ah yes, it’s that time of year again. Where we take a deep breath after celebrating our friends’ engagements and bachelorette parties, wedding showers, engagement photos and actual weddings, and then eventually the baby announcements (often paired with a gender reveal), the baby showers (or the newly trending baby sprinkles, as someone decided all babies should be celebrated these days. As a second child, I might be able to get behind that). Then there's the pregnancy shoots, actual births, and newborn photo shoots followed by the full family photo shoots (when the new arrivals start looking more human). And finally, we get to the baby smash cakes only to find out they’re pregnant again.
And yet amidst these countless celebratory posts, as Valentine’s Day nears, they feel the need to tell us the love story of how it all began.
I’m a sucker for love, don’t get me wrong. But how much celebrating for other people can a person handle? As I inch closer to death and battle the possibility of being buried in the singles section of the cemetery (I’ll never forgive you Anne Hathaway in The Intern for inspiring my second greatest fear outside of just dying alone in general) I have to question when and what do the single people get to celebrate throughout our lives?
So with Valentine's Day around the corner, and since I don’t have a love story to post about asI had to return my friend's cat Lucy I was pet sitting, I am going to share some of my own celebrations and milestones, in no particular order.
Cheers to going 13 years strong with my vibrator! While a high school love eluded me, you were a first worth remembering and holding on to. You've outlasted all my relationships - combined. I’ve woken up regretting a thing or two in the morning - but never you. Cheers to a decade and counting of pure bliss!
I'd like to humble brag on my equally committed relationship with my bed. We are going on 18 months strong! It was rocky at first, but I found a cooling sleep pad on Amazon and now we spend 8 uninterrupted hours together every night in complete comfort.
I’d like to celebrate making better choices in my 30s than I did in my 20s. While this is partially attributed to loving and respecting myself, it also has to do with being lazy and opting not to put on pants to go out and to, instead, melt into my couch in sweatpants (or more than likely no pants) and binge the second season of Fleabag. Again.
Shout out to my Billie razor. Thank you for making my legs so soft for me, and only me. I remain suspect as to whether hairy legged humans truly appreciate my right leg rubbing against them, but my left leg sure does. Throw in some fresh sheets on the bed to really treat yo’ self Tom Haverford style.*
And to my 15 frozen eggs awaiting their debut into the world. (Well, maybe not all of them). Despite not giving my parents an actual grandchild, they have been extremely supportive throughout this foreign process to them both as my mom experienced motherhood at age 21 after being married for 3 years. Times, they are a changing.
My common law marriage with alcohol. If I’d married a drink in college, it would have been Captain. And while I loved sailing with him in my 20s, I wouldn’t have stayed as I moved on to a decade-long love affair with vodka only to discover my true soulmate - wine. Let’s hope this is my metaphor for life and after saying goodbye to my Captain and vodka, I’m just looking for my forever Pinot.
The single serving popcorn bag. Yes, you saved my increasing sodium intake when I could take down the whole normal sized popcorn bag in one sitting. It’s okay it’s twice the price for half the product - in 2 short minutes I’ve forgotten all about that grave injustice as you fill me and deliver like no other. (No seriously. I’m in the midst of a legit sexual drought with no rain in the upcoming forecast, if you catch my drift).
To learning to make myself a priority when for so long I allowed others to make me an option. Gone are the days when I accepted a delayed, "Sorry, I ended up doing laundry today and didn't make it over. Next week maybe?" text from a half-invested suitor. This decision has allowed me to spend time with someone who truly loves and values who I am - me.
And finally, to being "single rich." It’s a concept l coined back in 2014 that essentially means the freedom to channel my inner Vivian and tell the world “I say who! I say when!” and decide what serves me in life to say “yes” to. For me personally, it’s been travel and adventure and investing my time, energy and experiences in ways that fill my soul without needing permission or approval from anyone but myself. It’s a concept that goes beyond monetary wealth to a richness money can’t buy.
And that, perhaps, is the single most greatest thing I celebrate not just on Valentine’s Day, but every day.
Married friends, please know I sincerely love you, and love celebrating each and every one of your milestones in life. But this Valentine’s Day, let's look beyond the love of external factors and focus on the beauty, acceptance and power of loving yourself and the life and story you have built – no matter what it looks like.
Happy Valentine’s Day, my loves.
*Tom Haverford is one of the many beloved characters on one of my favorite shows, Parks and Rec. Watch, laugh, repeat.